Start Setting Boundaries: A “How -to” Guide on Boundaries with Family, Friends and Beyond!
We’ve established that boundaries are essential to many aspects of our well-being. Without them, we run the risk of being hurt, overwhelmed or stressed. You may be wondering how to set these limits with loved ones, colleagues, classmates etc – we’ll discuss this in today’s post!
Creating Boundaries with Family and Friends
It’s helpful to be direct yet respectful. A great place to start is clearly explaining the need for a particular boundary and the impact it will have. For instance, if you’re setting a time boundary with family, you might say, “I need time for myself on weekends after the work week, so I won’t be able to join every gathering.” Using “I” statements helps communicate your needs without placing blame on others.
Enforcing Boundaries Respectfully
Setting boundaries is one step; but maintaining them requires consistency. As humans, we aren’t perfect, so others may forget or fail to respect these steps. Feel empowered to remind people of your limits when necessary. For instance, if a friend repeatedly asks for favours that drain your time, you might say, “I don’t have the capacity for that task right now, but I hope you find the support you need.
What Enforcing Boundaries Looks Like in Real Life
Enforcing boundaries can mean outlining your limits or declining requests without feeling guilty. Examples include:
Redirecting the conversation or avoiding topics with family that often upset you.
Limiting interactions with friends who fail to respect your time priorities.
Taking a step back from discussions or activities that drain you.
Restating your boundary if a line is crossed, ensuring that the other party is aware of your limits.
Real-life enforcement is about staying firm in your boundaries and if you feel led, reminding others when they push past them.
Overcoming Guilt or Resistance When Setting Boundaries
It’s common to feel guilt or worry about disappointing others when setting boundaries, especially if you’re a people pleaser. If that resonates with you, check out our blog post for tips on saying no and setting boundaries as a people pleaser!
It can be helpful to remind yourself of the long-term benefits: clear boundaries allow you to show up for yourself and others, and maintain a healthy relationship. Consistency ultimately contributes to better communication and mutual respect.
Final Tips and Reflection
Boundaries are a tool for self-care that positively impact our relationships and mental health. By setting and enforcing them consistently, we can improve our well-being and foster stronger, more balanced connections. If you need support with setting boundaries or if you have questions, feel free to reach out to The Cognitive Corner at info@thecognitivecorner.ca and schedule an initial appointment!
Reference
Pattemore, C. (2016, May 17). 10 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries#10-tips
